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bdsm

What is BDSM?

BDSM: Four letters, six terms…

The abbreviation comes from the first letters of the English terms ” Bondage and Discipline “, ” Dominance and Submission “, ” Sadism and Masochism“. This includes a range of sexual practices that are related and considered unusual by the general public. From the outside, BDSM games are hardly comprehensible for many in view of the perceived hardness and are subject to many prejudices, since they do not fit into the image of sexuality as a loving act. In fact, BDSM is much more than just exerting mere physical or mental violence and adding pain. On the contrary, this type of eroticism requires a deep connection and enlightened relationship between those involved.

Deviance is about everyone who voluntarily and fully consciously moves out of equality into a power imbalance from which all sides derive pleasure . Consent to a consensual game can only be given by those who can adequately assess the consequences of their consent. We therefore recommend every person and every BDSMler: inside to inform themselves sufficiently.

What is there to know about the BDSM acronym?

The six terms describe a whole range of physical and psychological practices that are based on an agreed and consciously created imbalance of power between two or more people. This power imbalance is usually preceded by carefully conducted discussions about desired and undesired practices, before the actual practice, the “ game ”, begins.

All varieties can serve to increase sexual desire and excitement, but do not have to. Since the areas flow smoothly into one another, the many individual practices can rarely be assigned to just one BDSM sub-area and very few followers practice one of the aspects in its purest form, we will keep it short:

The B in BDSM: Bondage

Bondage is primarily about various types of bondage practices, sometimes more or less with the aim of making the other or oneself immobile and giving the bound and the tying party sexual pleasure. This includes, for example, restraints with the help of ropes , handcuffs, leather cuffs or spreader bars, but also on bondage furniture such as pillory or a St. Andrew’s cross. The Japanese ” Shibari ” is particularly widespread in the BDSM scene , a special bondage style in which the person is tied up artfully and carefully with specific ropes and according to specific rules.

The first meaning of the D: Discipline

In BDSM, discipline refers to a tendency to discipline or punish a partner for mutual pleasure gain. This includes both physical SM practices, for example with toys such as whips, canes or bare hands . But other types of punishment , such as tunnel games or setting up rules, also fall under discipline.

A pair of terms that belong together: dominance and submission

Dominance and submission revolve around the conscious and consensual creation of unequal power relations in the game between two or more partners. The power imbalance can exist for a short period of time or for the duration of a session, or even as the basis of an entire relationship. The range is very large and individual. Dominance and submission primarily emphasizes the psychological aspects of a power relationship and, in contrast to sadism and masochism or even bondage, can take place entirely in the mind. Because of this, symbols such as collars can play an important role in underpinning power relations. However, physical aspects such as corporal punishment are usually an integral part of D/s.

The dominant part, often called Dom or Top in BDSM , determines what is happening in the game in relation to its submissive partner, Sub or Bottom . Examples of D/s practices are submission and education games, pet play , sexual rejection, ranging from tease and denial games to cuckold constellations and playful enslavement , some of which is permanently integrated into everyday life for some 24/7 . Especially with the psychologically more demanding types of games, the dom is required to take care of the partner physically and psychologically.

A special form in this classification according to Dom and Sub are the switchers, or switches for short , who can take on both roles at different times or with different people.

S and M: Short for sadism and masochism

Also known as “ sadomaso ”, the combination of the two terms sadism and masochism describes what is probably the most well-known part of BDSM and is usually equated with it in public perception. The term itself is not clearly defined in colloquial or clinical use.

In essence, sadomasochism is a sexual deviance in which a person derives pleasure from inflicting or receiving pain . Sadomasochism often involves the use of whipping tools such as whips or canes . In contrast to disciplining, where pain is more of a means to an end, sadomasochism focuses on making pain erotic.

The term is clearly distinguished from violence that, in contrast to sadomasochism, takes place without consent. Sadomasochists are those mentally inconspicuous people who, contrary to prejudice, are not prone to violence and live out their not-so-straightforward sexuality absolutely voluntarily.

What to consider in BDSM

What is important is the prior agreement of those involved, how far they can go, which practices are included, which are not and, above all, for what purpose. It is therefore of enormous importance to first become clear about your own needs and to be able to articulate them. Which area of ​​BDSM they fall under plays a fairly minor role for the execution and experience.

It is much more important to talk in detail about the wishes of those involved, the course of planned activities and their limits . Shame and social desirability are out of place in such a conversation. While safer sex should be a matter of course, BDSM activities also require more extensive safety measures , which those involved should also deal with intensively. Communication and safety are the top priorities in BDSM.

Anyone who enters into a power imbalance must also be free to revoke consent to an agreement at any time, for example with the famous safe word . As so often in life, you should also listen to your own feelings in BDSM. If for any reason something doesn’t feel right – whether it’s a conversation, an action or a person – it’s better to get rid of it immediately.

That’s essentially it. As already mentioned, the spectrum is very wide and the terms can hardly be distinguished from one another. Also, it is sometimes not entirely clear what counts as kink , what as fetish and what as vanilla . If you want to learn more about BDSM, you will find more helpful information in this magazine about the various tendencies, fetishes, roles , the BDSM scene and many other helpful tips for BDSM enthusiasts and those who want to become one.

The most popular BDSM games

Discover the colorful world of BDSM

1. Spanking - blow after blow to ecstasy

The term spanking means hitting, for example as punishment or within a game situation. The submissive is hit in a suitable position by the dominant person with the open hand or a specific instrument. Whipping is also counted as spanking and can be summarized under the generic term “impact play”.

2. Shibari - Mindful bondage art

In BDSM, Shibari is a special style of rope bondage that developed from a Japanese military bondage technique, Hojojutsu. In Japan, the term Kinbaku is used for what we in Europe call Shibari, which is also often encountered in connection with bondage. In a figurative sense, Shibari means something like “tying down”. Most often, Shibari involves sexual bondage, in which the bound person is tied in intricate patterns.

3. Orgasm Control - Confidence is good, control is better

Orgasm control means prohibiting, intentionally delaying, or forcing orgasm. Control usually comes from the dominant part and can be brief, during a specific game situation or over a longer period of time, for example in the form of chastity. One of the most popular forms is edging, a practice in which the submissive part is deliberately brought to just before the climax, only to be denied when it does.

4. Ageplay - harmless game or perverse?

In BDSM, ageplay stands for a kind of role-playing game in which the participants pretend or treat each other as if they were a different age than they really are. Although a person in an ageplay can also pretend to be older than they really are, playing a younger person is more common. The most popular play ages are baby, child or teenager. Ageplay can, but does not always have to contain a sexual element.

5. Petplay - An animal treat

Petplay is made up of the two English words “Pet” like domestic animal and “Play” for game. This means erotic role-playing games in which the submissive part usually takes on the role of an animal. Animal or Zoomimik also describe this type of BDSM. Popular animals in pet play include cats, dogs and ponies, but there are no limits to your imagination.

6. Chastity - A never cuming story

Chastity is primarily a concept known from religion for moderation in dealing with sexuality. The word “chaste” is derived from the Latin “conscius”, which means something like “conscious”. In BDSM, chastity is a variety in which one person refrains from sex, masturbation and/or orgasms at the request of another, i.e. is kept chaste. This is usually a submissive person.

7. Pee - just let it go

Needle play is a BDSM practice of poking or piercing a bottom’s skin with needles. Since it is a type of game with a not so small risk of injury and infection, needle games are generally classified as edge play and fall into the RACK area. The basic idea is that a needle is pricked just below the surface of the ordinary skin, allowing it to re-emerge through the skin a short distance from where it was inserted. There are also more extreme types, in which genitals, nipples or other parts of the body are temporarily pierced.

8. Needle Games - Painfully beautiful

Needle play is a BDSM practice of poking or piercing a bottom’s skin with needles. Since it is a type of game with a not so small risk of injury and infection, needle games are generally classified as edge play and fall into the RACK area. The basic idea is that a needle is pricked just below the surface of the ordinary skin, allowing it to re-emerge through the skin a short distance from where it was inserted. There are also more extreme types, in which genitals, nipples or other parts of the body are temporarily pierced.

9. Wax Play - Now it's getting hot!

Wax Play is a BDSM practice in which hot candle wax is dripped or poured onto the bare skin of a submissive. Depending on the amount, individual drops are distributed or a large part of the body is covered with wax. The wax cools down on the part of the body and becomes solid, resulting in a special look. As with many practices, enduring pain and the associated devotion and submissiveness often play a role in wax play.

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