What is FRIES?
FRIES is an abbreviation for one of the many consensus guiding concepts in BDSM that one can orientate and lean on. Such concepts make communication easier, especially with new contacts, and how you want to play with each other . In addition, they give beginners an overview of how to deal with each other in the context of BDSM and that BDSM is not just a stubborn “let yourself be done” or just a “simply do what I want”. . These principles serve as a model and basis for the practice of sadomasochistic practices and the differentiation from criminally relevant violence .
The best-known concepts are SSC (safe, sane, consensual) and RACK (risk aware, consensual, kink) . There are also other models of consensual agreement, such as PRICK (personal, responsible, informed, consensual, kink) and FRIES. However, since it is a comparatively young concept, it is not yet as well known as its big siblings. It was developed by the American non-profit organization Planned Parenthood , probably around 2016, which works for sexual education and development.
What does FRIES mean?
FRIES is an abbreviation from the first letters of certain aspects, which can be used as a guideline in BDSM. Specifically, these points are:
F – Freely given: The consent of all parties was given voluntarily and without pressure.
R – Reversible: The consent can be withdrawn at any time.
I – Informed: All parties are informed about practices, their risks and security measures.
E – Enthusiastic: The parties look forward to playing together. Nobody just does something for the sake of the other.
S – Specific: Consent is specific to a session / practice /duration and not to be considered a general power of attorney.
FRIES is therefore a very modern concept that attaches great importance to regular consensus talks and information security. Therefore, it is also very suitable for beginners.
What does that mean in dealing with each other?
Playing according to the FRIES concept means that planned practices are discussed in detail and there is consensus . In addition to the detailed explanation of what these practices involve, this also includes the clarification of soft and hard limits . After that, it is clearly regulated that and how the consent can be withdrawn at any time, for example by a safe word or traffic light system . When everyone is ready, looking forward to the game and they are aware that the agreements made are defined for the upcoming session , you can start.