Submissive Rules The Ultimate Guide for Beginners (with Examples)

Submissive Rules: The Ultimate Guide for Beginners (with Examples)

Submissive rules are like a roadmap for behavior in a BDSM relationship. Think of them as guidelines agreed upon by both partners to shape how things work. These rules cover a bunch of stuff, from how you talk to each other to specific tasks or rituals. They’re not about control for its own sake but about creating a structure that works for both people. It’s like building a unique language of expectations, making sure everyone feels satisfied and understood. These rules are totally consensual and can change over time as the relationship grows and shifts. It’s all about keeping things respectful and fulfilling for everyone involved.

What Are Submissive Rules?

Submissive rules are a set of guidelines and expectations that define the behavior and conduct of a submissive partner within a BDSM relationship. These rules are established through communication and negotiation between the dominant and submissive, outlining the boundaries, expectations, and desired behaviors. Rules for sub can cover a wide range of aspects, including communication protocols, tasks and chores, rituals, and protocols for scenes or play. They are designed to enhance the power dynamic within the relationship, provide structure, and ensure that both partners feel a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. The rules are consensual and may evolve over time as the relationship develops and the needs of the individuals involved change.

Why to Set Submissive Rules?

First and foremost, they establish clear expectations for behavior. These rules help define roles and responsibilities, ensuring that both partners are on the same page about their desires and limits.

Moreover, setting rules can enhance communication and understanding between the dom and sub. It provides a roadmap for how the relationship will function, fostering trust and intimacy. For the submissive, following these rules can be a source of guidance and security, knowing that their actions align with their partner’s expectations.

How to Set Rules of Submissive?

Setting submissive rules should be approached with care and communication. The ideal time to establish these rules of submissive is during a dedicated discussion between the dominant and submissive partners, often referred to as a “contract negotiation” or a “session zero.”

During this conversation, both partners should openly express their desires, boundaries, and expectations for their relationship. This is the opportune moment to discuss the specific rules that will govern the submissive’s behavior. It’s essential to be honest, clear, and detailed about each rule to avoid misunderstandings.

The rules for sub should be negotiated collaboratively, allowing both partners to have input and feel comfortable with the agreed-upon terms. This negotiation process is ongoing and may require adjustments over time.

Both partners must willingly agree to the established rules, and any changes should be discussed and consented to by all parties involved.

I’ve listed some commonly used Submissive rules that you can modify, expand and then use as needed.

Basic Rules for Subs

  • You will address me as Daddy, Sir, or Master when seeking permission, expressing gratitude, apologizing, or asking for forgiveness.
  • Use these titles exclusively in these contexts, unless I instruct otherwise.
  • Wear the collar provided by me at all times, and only I may remove it unless otherwise specified.
  • Do not permit anyone else to place a collar on you without my explicit permission.
  • Engage in at least one creative or artistic activity each week and share the results with me.
  • This demonstrates your commitment to self-expression and contributes to our dynamic.
  • You are forbidden from engaging in any sexual or romantic activity without my explicit permission.
  • If permitted, provide detailed descriptions and, if possible, visual documentation of the encounters.
  • Obtain my permission before getting any piercings, tattoos, brands, or other permanent markings.
  • Report any attempts by others to mark or modify your body without permission.
  • Address other Dominants as Sir for males and Madam or Ma’am for females, never as Master, Mistress, or Daddy.
  • Make your best effort to complete any task I assign, regardless of difficulty or personal preference.
  • If unable to fulfill a request, seek permission not to do so and provide a detailed explanation promptly.
  • Be completely trustworthy and honest in all interactions and communications with me.
  • Report any rule violations or failure to complete tasks as soon as practical.
  • Continually seek ways to demonstrate your submission to me, fostering a dynamic of trust and obedience.
  • Give me your absolute loyalty and always be respectful of my rules, wishes, and our dynamic.
  • Understand that pleasing me is a primary focus, and your actions should reflect this commitment.

Public Rules for Submissives

  • Maintain a respectful and discreet demeanor in public spaces.
  • Follow my instructions regarding your behavior when out in public.
  • Dress and act in a way that aligns with the agreed-upon image of the dynamic.
  • Seek explicit permission for any public displays of submission.
  • Always use the appropriate titles and honorifics when addressing me.
  • Adhere to any dress code or specific attire guidelines set by me for public outings.
  • Exercise discretion in conversations, avoiding the disclosure of intimate details.
  • Remain attentive to my needs and signals in various public settings.
  • Demonstrate gratitude for my guidance and protection, especially in public spaces.

Rules for Submissive at Work

  • Adhere to guidelines regarding wearing collars or discreet symbols of submission, considering workplace norms.
  • Choose jewelry that aligns with my preferences and any workplace regulations.
  • Ensure you maintain impeccable personal hygiene to uphold a professional appearance at all times.
  • Seek permission before engaging in any personal grooming activities during work hours.
  • Refrain from engaging in distracting habits or behaviors that may disrupt the professional work environment.
  • Follow any dress code or attire preferences outlined by me for a consistent submissive image.
  • Seek approval before making clothing choices that deviate from workplace norms or expectations.

Submissive Rules for Long-distance Relationships

  • You commit to a daily ritual of sharing your thoughts and updates.
  • Clearly define expectations and deadlines for the tasks and goals you are assigned.
  • Follow rules for sharing photos, videos, and messages to keep the intimacy alive.
  • Embrace regular video or voice calls to enhance our connection across the distance.
  • Plan and actively participate in BDSM play sessions through engaging video calls.
  • Document your experiences and emotions in a personal journal.
  • Dedicate specific periods to unplug from technology, focusing on self-reflection.
  • Incorporate remote-controlled toys for shared pleasure during virtual encounters.

Tips for Sub Rule Implementation

Implementing rules in a BDSM relationship, especially for beginners, requires careful consideration and communication. Here are some practical tips for a smooth and respectful integration:

  • Discuss rules openly and honestly, ensuring that both partners understand expectations and boundaries.
  • Begin with a few essential rules before gradually introducing more complex ones. This helps in adjusting to the dynamics.
  • Rule-setting should be a collaborative process. Both partners should have a say in what rules are established.
  • Consistency helps build trust. Ensure rules are consistently enforced and that consequences are predictable.
  • Schedule regular check-ins to discuss how the rules are impacting the relationship and if any adjustments are needed.
  • Understand that rules may need adjustments over time. Be flexible and willing to adapt to the changing dynamics of the relationship.
  • Acknowledge and reward compliance with rules. Positive reinforcement can strengthen the submissive’s commitment.
  • Clearly define hard limits and ensure that rules respect these boundaries. Consent is crucial in BDSM dynamics.
  • Take the time to educate each other about BDSM practices, ensuring a shared understanding and preventing misunderstandings.
  • Establish and respect safewords for both partners. These are crucial for ensuring the well-being and comfort of all parties involved.

Common Pitfalls and How to Avoid Them

Lack of Communication: Ensure open and ongoing communication. Regularly discuss feelings, concerns, and experiences to maintain a strong connection.

Unrealistic Expectations: Set achievable rules that consider the practicalities of daily life. Unrealistic expectations can lead to frustration and disappointment.

Ignoring Limits: Always prioritize consent and respect limits. Ignoring boundaries can erode trust and harm the well-being of both partners.

Inconsistency: Inconsistency can lead to confusion. Establish a routine for rule enforcement and consequences, providing stability in the BDSM dynamic.

Overlooking Aftercare: Aftercare is crucial. Ensure both partners engage in aftercare rituals to address emotional and physical needs after BDSM activities.

Neglecting Check-Ins: Neglecting regular check-ins can lead to misunderstandings. Schedule periodic evaluations to discuss the impact of rules on the relationship.

Unwillingness to Adapt: Be willing to adapt rules based on evolving dynamics. Rigidity can hinder the growth and satisfaction of the BDSM relationship.

Ignoring Red Flags: Address Concerns: Pay attention to red flags and address concerns promptly. Ignoring warning signs can lead to serious issues in the relationship.

Final Words

Submissive rules serve as a consensual framework in BDSM relationships. Whether at home, in public, or within the dynamics of a long-distance relationship, these guidelines provide structure for exploration and shared pleasure. For newcomers, take your time, communicate openly, and prioritize safety and consent. The power in BDSM lies not just in the rules but in the trust and understanding they cultivate. Embrace the journey with respect, consent, and a commitment to mutual fulfillment. Happy exploring!

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